just a hug..
Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day.""My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.He always liked to do things early, way before the time.Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.""The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance.""Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."
"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.There also is another thing, that I think you should know,He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."
"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote..."Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."
"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."
"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."
"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.I have always loved you and I know I always will.But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."
"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,And place the roses where we are, together once again."
The Origin of Coffee
SaltedCoffee Lady
Secret Age
Meet me for a coffee?
Coffee's Education
The history of coffee is as rich as the brew itself , dating back more than a thousand years.
Originally, coffee beans were taken as a food and not as a beverage.
Wishful Thinking
Should there be any wish if people on earth are not going to
satisfy whatever they owned presently?
That is what wishful thinking should be.
The Story of SaltedCoffee
Jokes
Phua Chu Kang was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with.... "1 day,I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I get 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. O God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I called my boss and said, I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1?" THE END....
Income version: At Income, you 1 2 make a report, Tommy Koh says to have 3 points, if 4 points, the brain cannot take it. If no common sense, you get 5. 6 right. Better go to floor 7 Conference Room and hide or jump into the pool at floor 8. Every night leave office at 9, shop till 10, go home let mother father scold. The next day, I go to work at 10, when it is supposed to be 9. I change the clock at Mr Goh's to 8, go past 7 glass doors,and so unlucky see my floor 6 supervisor. He says: "Where is the 5 pieces of work due since August 4?" I say the baby ate 3 and the cat ate 2. He said: "I only have 1 option for you. Please go". Oh-Oh. I say. Very The End.
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Job Application for the newly Integrated Resort
Since the IR has been approved, the underworld is looking for recruits. This one - CHAP SAR TIAM SECRET SOCIETY, a Geylang-based organization for youth, is now recruiting members to fulfill a tender they are submitting to the new casi? Sorry, sorry, integrated resort. Please fill in the form below and mail to: Mr. Chao Ah Beng Membership Occifer Chap Sar Tiam Secret Society 69 Geylang Lorong 69 Singapore 696969 Reference code: chapsartiam.com APPLICATION FOR MEMBERSHIP IN CHAP SAR TIAM SECRET SOCIETY 1. NRIC No.: _________________ 2. Surname: __________________ 3. First name: (please X) [ ] Johnson [ ] Benson [ ] Samson [ ] Hamson [ ] Janson [ ] Other: _________________ (if not ending in son? please explain why) 4. Chinese Name: Ah __________(if not beginning with Ah? please explain why) 5. Age: [ ] Under 35 [ ] Lau Beng 6. Sex: [ ] M [ ] F [ ] at Geylang 7. Length of Last Fingernail: ________ (cm) 8. Ability to squat for: [ ] 1 hour [ ] 2 hours [ ] more than 2 hours (wah, steady!) 9. Hairstyle: [ ] Spiky [ ] Dyed with streaks of blond [ ] Dyed with streaks of red [ ] Two strands dangling in front of eyes [ ] Kana mop like that [ ] Perm (please state which saloon in JB you went)____________________ 10. Tattoo of: [ ] Tiger [ ] Dragon [ ] Snake [ ] Eagle [ ] Hello Kitty 11. Work experience: (please X all that apply) [ ] KTV Launge Bouncer [ ] Snooker Hall Attendant [ ] Unlicensed Contractor [ ] Freelance debt collector [ ] Unlicensed bookie [ ] Dispute Resolution and Settlement Professional [ ] Unemployed 12. Spouse's Name: _________________________ 2nd Spouse's Name: _________________________ 3rd Spouse's Name: (the one in Batam, that one) _________________________ Lover's Name: _________________________ 2nd Lover's Name: (Lorong 69, that pooi-pooi one) _________________________ 13. Number of children living in household: ____ Number of children living in foster care: ____ Number of children that are actually yours: ____ 14. Mother's Name: _________________________ (If not sure, leave blank) 15. Father's Name: _________________________ (If not sure, leave blank) 16. Education: (Circle how many years it took you to finish primary school) 8 9 10 11 12 17. Ability to swear: (please X all that apply) [ ] Hokkien [ ] English [ ] Malay [ ] Tamil [ ] Cantonese [ ] rude hand gestures 18. Service performed in previous secret society: [ ] Leadership/Tua Tao [ ] Junior management/Suay Tao [ ] Physical activities/Hooting [ ] Dispute Resolution and settlement/Cham Siong [ ] Lookout/Kuah Chui
###
A Chinese went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to a famous Hollywood producer, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol. The producer was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the producer. Picking himself up, he yelled, "What was that for?" The producer ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you $B%'%'(J@@!!$B%'%'(J! My dad perished in that bombing!" "I am not Japanese, you stupid Nincompoop! I am a Chinese!" "Yeah yeah yeah ...Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, Vietnamese, ... you are all the same." Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a deadly snake fist to the producer, sending him flat to the floor. "What was that for?!!" exclaimed the producer. "That's for the sinking of the TITANIC! I had ancestors on that ship!" the Chinese replied. "You ignorant chink! The TITANIC was sunk by an iceberg! " shouted the producer. "Yeah yeah yeah... Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!"
###
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?" "Very well trained, Gen. McKenzie." Gen McKenzie: "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." Gen Marshall: "Well, my men are very brave, too." Gen McKenzie: "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" Private Johnson: "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
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The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store
What great greetings! Nowadays greetings are getting wackier! I will consider getting no.4. And you? 1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind. 2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you . 3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am.... (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me . 4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go.. (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again. 5. Someday I hope to marry... (Inside card) - Someone other than you . 6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... (Inside card) - Almost lifelike ! 7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card!) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise . 8. We've been friends for a very long time... (Inside card) - What do you say we stop ? 9. I'm so miserable without you... (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here . 10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was ? 11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often . 12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday... (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep . 13. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder... (Inside card) - What was I thinking ? 14. Congratulations on your wedding day! (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband/wife.
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For those who appreciate intellectually stimulating humour...... and have the time to read, enjoy a laugh......... One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Walmart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks." That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
###
Ah Lian called big brother Ah Beng over the telephone. Lian: "Ah Beng kor, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all the edges cannot fix together, lah." Beng: "Jig saw puzzle si mi picture, ha?" Lian: "The box show a big rooster, kanna like the one in talkingcock.com." Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to tor-long lu, lah." Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is. Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, "Si ghee na, si bay gong, put back the corn flakes into the box, lah." ***************************************************** Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?" Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!" The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. Tt seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..." At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Aiyoh, Ah Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the fridge again!" *********************************************** QUESTION: How do you know frogs are Hokkien? ANSWER : Because when it's cold, they go "kwah, kwah, kwah". QUESTION : How do Hokkien prawns laugh? ANSWER: Hae hae hae (hokkien for prawns) QUESTION: How do Hokkien fish laugh? ANSWER : Hee hee hee (hokkien for fish) And here is a classic.............. QUESTION : What's the difference between Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy Tales? ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." and Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li kong..."
###
A woman, who was pregnant with twins, got into a car accident and went into a coma... She was rushed to the hospital where doctors delivered her twins to save them. But as she was in a coma and her husband was overseas on business, her brother was the only one present to name her children. When she came out of the coma, hours after arriving at the hospital and found out that her brother had named the twins, she was very worried. Her brother was not very bright, and she didn't think he would have done a very good job of choosing her kids' names. When he came in to see her she asked, "So what names did you choose for my children?" He replied, "The first born was a girl." "Oh," started the woman, "and what did you name her??" "Denise," answered her brother. The woman was very surprised, and very pleased, "Hey, that's not half bad!" She exclaimed to her brother. "And what did you name the second child?" She waited excitedly to hear the name her brother had chosen for the other child. "Well, the next born was a boy," her brother informed her. "Yes, and what did you name him??" inquired the woman. Replied the brother, "Denephew."
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Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?" ''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--" ''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?" ''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--'' ''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so. ''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'"
###
Details unverified.Excerpts from one of the chatroom being monitored by CMT (Chatroom Monitoring Team) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it", he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 mph. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. Up to 60 mph."I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat." The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?" The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says. Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. ......................................"I have got the airbag".... Never underestimate how a woman thinks. Moral of the story: Buy Toyota VIOS as it has only one airbag (for driver only). The husband sure die and wife gets everything! So, for a husband don't buy a Vios today.... Husbands, pls take insurance! but.. think twice for MCIS insurance. Know why? " M.C.I.S "= Mati Cepat Isteri Senang -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Full name,MCIS Zurich Insurance.Based in Malaysia offering both life and motor products.
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What Did The Boy Octopus Say To The Girl Octopus? I Want To Hold Your Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand,Hand, Hand, Hand! What Do You Call Four Bullfighters in Quicksand? Quatro Sinko. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice Too Long? Polaroids What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't Come Back? A Stick. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck. Why Are Fish So Easy To Weigh? Because They Have Their Own Scales! Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat. Mom: Eat Up Your Spinach, It'll Put Color In Your Cheeks. Child: But I Don't Want Green Cheeks ! What Do You Call Skydiving Lawyers? Skeet. What Happened When The Wheel Was Invented ? It Caused A Revolution ! "Quick, Take The Wheel", Said The Nervous Driver. "Why ?" "Because There Is A Tree Coming Straight For Us !" What Is the Best Way To Confuse A Drummer? Put A Sheet Of Music In Front Of Him.
Monday, August 22, 2005
salty12:05 PM
SCL right__here.`waiting
___________________
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mEMORIES
stuff u kan insert here are:
video clips
songs/lyrics
counters
ur fanlistings
archives
a huggie counter
pictures
and etc.
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